jump

I was on the concrete edge of something, high enough that I couldn't see the ground. I was holding onto a curved metal railing for dear life. A faceless man was there beside me. I stepped off the ledge and screamed for him to help me. He reached out and pulled me back. My feet were on the concrete but I was still on the outside of the railing. Somehow, I knew I was jumping off this ledge for the first time. I knew I would do it many more times before I was done. I knew it would get easier with experience, but I just had to take this first jump.

He knew I was scared and he was patient but firm. I had to do it. I didn't want to disappoint him. I asked him how I was supposed to keep from breaking all my bones if I jumped with no parachute. He used some unknown word for what would keep me whole, and then turned around, instead of watching what I would do or trying to force me.

I let go. I watched my legs untangle from the bar of the railing and just leaned back, trusting that I would make it to the ground without hurting myself. Or, at least, without hurting myself too much. For the first time in my life, falling was not a plunging terrifying feeling. I was falling, but I was not afraid. The wind rushed past. I looked around as I fell. After a little while, I kicked my feet and found the ground solid beneath me. I looked up at the sky and saw a parachute floating down around me. The parachute was there all along. I just didn't know it when I jumped. I had taken a giant leap of faith. I woke up smiling.

This is what I dreamed last night. Wow. I love it when I have vivid powerful dreams. I'm not talking about when you dream of wearing no clothes to the market. Or forgetting to study for the most important exam in school. I'm talking about the ones that talk to you. The ones that shout. The ones that cross that border between nonsense and clarity and leave you breathless.

This dream was so great. I was a little scared, but I went ahead and did what I needed to do. What I knew I should do. It would seem that I am less afraid of venturing out of my cave than I was last year. Or that I have more faith. I am stepping off into a new direction right now and, deep down, where dreams live, I know I will be okay.